Secret Agent Man
by Mafia Princess
Summary: Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon/James Bond Crossover


Secret Agent Man 

Chapter 1 

by 

Sailor Bond Girl 

Set about two years after Stars. A racing star and a genius are kidnapped, and it's up to old friends, a lover, and everyone's favorite womanizing British spy to save them. 

I credit the following: MGM/UA, Kodansha (Kodansya?) Comics, TOEI Animation, and all the talented actors and actresses involved. No money is being made off of this, no money ever has been made off of this, and no money ever will be made off of this. What kind of sick little monkey would *pay* for the crap I write, anyway? 

A brief note on my use of the names: because a lot of the story is set in the Western Hemisphere (the US and Western Europe), I'll be using the Western name format of personal name first, family name last often. Tsukino Usagi = Usagi Tsukino, Tenoh Haruka = Haruka Tenoh, Mizuno Ami = Ami Mizuno, etc. Don't worry, I won't be using the (gag gag, koff koff) NA names. 

On the 'Superglue Spokesmodels' - this is what I have christened two friends of mine who are basically inseparable. GET A ROOM YOU TWO!!! 

Okay, I admit, Michiru could have just used the mirror to find out how to free Haruka, but I think she can only use it to see the truth about things - if people are lying, and sometimes their fates. Things like that. Besides, this makes it a lot more interesting, ne? 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

British Coastland November 10, 1999 2:08 PM 

Michiru was troubled. 

That was putting it lightly, she reflected. She was terrified. She'd awoke this morning with a feeling of dread, which she couldn't quite place. It wasn't until she consulted the Aqua Mirror that she became truly frightened. 

She'd gone out to the bluffs beyond the beach house Haruka had rented their 'family', and sat on the edge of the highest cliff, above the roughest, rockiest waters. Anyone watching would have thought her suicidal. She felt anything but. Her legs dangling off the edge, the wind whipping the light sundress she wore, she pulled out the hand mirror and gazed into it. 

There was a sensation of falling as her reflection was replaced by a teal mist, and everything around her vanished, to her senses, at least. She let her entire being concentrate only on the mist, on finding what it was that was troubling her so. 

Finally, the mist cleared, revealing...the solar system. 

This one, anyway. The one which had been her home for thousands of years. She felt a sense of nostalgia as she caught sight of the moon, as one who was looking at a grainy black-and-white photograph of a childhood home would feel. 

As she watched, a pair of hands appeared from out of nowhere. Michiru now felt that same sense of dread as she had when she awoke this morning. She was forced to watch helplessly as the hands plucked two planets away, as casually as picking berries. 

She wanted to scream as she realized that this faceless abductor was taking Mercury...and Uranus. 

She heard herself scream "Haruka!", and the mirror went dark. The solar system was replaced by her own tear- streaked face. 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

Harvard University Massachusetts A few hours later (yes, even given the time change) 

"Hey, Ami! Me and the superglue spokesmodels are going out to wreak some havoc on the world at large. Care to join us?" 

At the sound of her roommate's cheerful voice, the blue-haired girl frowned and glanced at her clock. It was late...much later than she'd planned to stay up studying. 

But you couldn't be too careful. She smiled at the other, and shook her head. "No, thanks," Ami replied in flawless English. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes, I'm pretty tired. I'll probably just study for half an hour or so, then make some dinner and watch a movie...I rented 'Casablanca', 'Schindler's List', and 'Life Is Beautiful' for my Media Analysis class, I have to analyze the three of them and write a paper on how the media reflects people's changing levels of acceptance of the Holocaust and-" 

Jenna waved her hand. "Okay, okay, I get it, Ami-chan. Have fun. I haven't seen 'Schindler's List', but the other two are really good. Hope you like 'em!" 

"Er...thanks," Ami said, puzzled. She closed her books and began putting her things back up, as she heard Jenna getting her jacket and leaving, calling to her friends. 

And then, she smelled something. It was a hard, bitter, medicinal stench...almost like... 

Chloroform, she realized, as a hand wrapped around her head and shoved a rag soaked in the chemical under her nose. She tried to grab her henshin pen, but she was so tired... 

The pen slipped from her fingers, falling onto the floor, and she was aware of voices, and of someone picking her henshin pen up, as everything went dark. 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

London 

Haruka smiled warmly at her 'family', taking them in even as she was headed for the locker room. Little Hotaru, not so little anymore, smiled warmly at her, even as her 'Setsuna-mama' was rubbing sunblock onto her. The ten-year-old's purple eyes danced as she grinned at 'Haruka-papa'. Setsuna, who was too involved with making sure Hotaru didn't get sunburned to offer much more than a distracted smile and a "good luck, as usual, though you hardly need it". 

And finally Haruka's eyes fell on Michiru. 

Michiru had been distracted all day, moody, sad. She had avoided Haruka, and only turned to look at her for a brief moment, offering her an artificial smile before turning away. 

Haruka frowned. She reached inside of her jacket and ran her fingers over the rose petals. It was the two-year anniversary of their time as a family... did Michiru think she'd forgotten? Was that what was bothering her? 

She hurried over to Michiru, well aware of how little time she had left. Her victory wouldn't be much of one if Michiru wasn't celebrating it. 

"Hey," she said, lifting Michiru's chin up, "you didn't think I forgot, did you?" 

She pulled out the rose and handed it to Michiru, whose eyes filled with tears. "Haruka...of course I..." 

Haruka put a finger over the other woman's lips. "Shh. I don't know what's bothering you, then. Don't worry, I'll be fine." 

Michiru said nothing, only gave her a sorrowful smile. "Haruka..." she whispered. 

Haruka grasped the woman's chin again, and bent down to kiss her. "Don't worry. I'll come back to you." 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

Michiru stared at Haruka, feeling painful confusion well up inside of her. "Haruka...I..." 

"Hmm?" 

"It's not that simple...I have to tell you..." 

"Tell me what?" 

Michiru tried to hide what she had found out that morning. People weren't meant to know their own fates, because they might try to change them. And they couldn't do that. It was futile, because one way or another, Destiny always got her way. 

So she only smiled, and, after a brief hesitation - public displays of affection weren't a natural thing for her - she wrapped Haruka into a tight embrace, and tried to stop the tears that had begun to seep out. "Nothing. Just...that I love you." 

Haruka returned the embrace, and then stared at Michiru. She seemed to search her soul, and, after a few moments, gave her a confident smile. "I know," she said. 

"I know." 

Michiru could read in her eyes, though, that she knew something, some small portion, of what Michiru had seen, even as she turned to leave, still wearing that same warm smile. 

Michiru steeled herself, trying to hold in the tears she felt as she watched Haruka heading off for the locker room. Her beautiful, strong, confident Haruka...her wonderful, sweet Haruka who was going to...to... 

She shook her head. What was wrong with her? She never got this upset. Never. 

She ignored her communicator as it beeped insistently at her once again, waiting patiently. 

She waited as the racers lined up. 

She waited as the announcers, fans, and everyone else began to notice that Haruka Tenoh wasn't showing up. 

She waited as the female fans in the audience began to boo, demanding to know where Haruka was. 

She waited as someone was sent back into the locker room to find Haruka. 

She waited as the 'investigator' came racing out, babbling about what was in there. 

She waited as more people went back to confirm. 

Michiru waited. She was as patient as the sea. She could wait forever. She could have waited until Haruka returned to her. 

But she didn't have that luxury. Finally, she noticed that Setsuna and Hotaru were looking truly worried. She feigned an expression of what little worry she ever showed, and pulled out her pass. The three of them followed her into the locker room, through the crowd surrounding the area. 

Several of the other racers recognized her, all of them surrounding the locker Haruka usually stored her things in. A group of police officers seemed suspicious of her and her family, but one of the racers explained to him that the three of them were "his fiancee, his adopted daughter, and one of his friends". 

An officer smiled grimly at Hotaru, and led Michiru aside. 

"I thought I recognized you, Ms. Kaioh. My daughter plays the violin, you're her idol. Anyway...I hate to be the bearer of bad news. I'm afraid that Mr. Tenoh is... well, he seems to have vanished. What little evidence we've found suggests that he was kidnapped." 

Michiru knew that her acting skills would have to play a large part here. And she was at first mystified. She had planned to play the brave widow, she would be Jackie O., stoic and strong. But she found herself truly terrified, as the fear that she had fought this morning welled up inside of her, threatenting to betray her cool exterior. 

"Thank you, officer. I trust you'll contact me if you find anything." Without waiting for an answer, she turned and quickly exited. 

She clutched Hotaru's shoulder, as Setsuna pushed through a mob of reporters, who had all been given the same news they had. She and Haruka were a highly visible couple now, with Haruka rising to fame and herself a growing name in music circles. The breakups of some of the media's favorite couples, Brad Pitt and Gwyneth Paltrow, Demi Moore and Bruce Willis, had left a wide gap in the gossip circles which, it had been decided, with the press tiring of Heche and DeGeneres, Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh would be perfect filler for. 

She found microphones and cameras shoved in her face, and merely muttered, "you've heard from the police. I don't know anything more right now." It was Hotaru she was really worried about. She didn't want them tormenting her poor daughter. 

Finally, they reached Michiru's car, and Setsuna, without a word, climbed in the driver's seat. Michiru sat in the back, holding Hotaru close to her, clinging to the second of three parts of her life, one of which had just been taken from her. 

The little girl, often giggly and squirming, said nothing, for she could be as somber as death, as Michiru knew from experience. 

Finally, when they were on a back road and out of reach of the news vans, Michiru buried her face in Hotaru's sweet-smelling hair, and clutched her baby to her as her body was racked by silent sobs. 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

London The Next Day 

A silver BMW Z8 shot around a corner, and sped through the city streets, like something out of a bad Fox special. Its tires sqealed at turns, and it raced as though being chased by the devil himself. 

Just your average commute to work... 

Finally, the car pulled into the parking garage of a government building, and the driver stepped out calmly. He smoothed down his suit, turned on his heel, and coolly headed inside. 

Just another average commute to work, on an average day in the life of James Bond. 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

He stepped into the elevator, business as usual , and smiled at the sight of one of his newer coworkers...to be specific, one of his newer *female* coworkers. 

She cast him a shy glance, and smiled slightly. "Good morning," she said in a musical voice, carrying an eastern American accent. 

"It is, isn't it...well, now that I've been able to chat with you." 

She raised an eyebrow, her smile growing. "I don't believe we've talked before." She extended her hand. 

"I'm Agent 0014." 

"So," he smiled, "it's not just me. We've been reduced to numbers. I'm 007." He took her hand, leaned down, and kissed it. "Don't tell me, let me guess...Angelina? Angelica? I don't see how it couldn't have to do with angels...but, then, you would put any angel to shame." 

She rolled her eyes, even as she was blushing slightly. "I hate to disappoint you. The name's Jericho Irons." 

"Well then," he said, as the elevator doors opened, "we're fated. I'm Bond. James Bond." 

"Fated," she laughed, "what do you mean?" 

"First of all," he smiled, as the two of them stepped out, "there's our numbers. I'm 007, you're 0014...think about it, what's twice seven?" 

"Right. Got anything else?" 

"Your name. First off, we've got the same first initial. Second off, look up the word 'Irons' in any good thesaurus, and I guarantee, you'll find the synonym 'Bond'." 

"Some evidence," she snickered. "For all we know, that's just a sign that I'm your long-lost sister." 

"Well, I'll admit it's possible," he smiled, as she started into her office. "But we'd know. Didn't you wonder what the blood tests you had when you applied were for?" 

"Not really," she smirked, heading into her office. "Well, as fascinating as this has been, I must be going. Places to go, people to kill...you know the routine." 

She opened her cell phone, and winked at him even as she closed the door in his face. He continued down the hall, smiling to himself. He normally didn't feel at ease unless he was racing off to some place or another - he was an adrenaline addict, and he would be the first to admit it - but today he felt relaxed. 

Suddenly, as he was opening his own office door, he heard a female voice behind him. "If you're quite finished with your rounds, James, there are a few people who'd like to talk to you." 

"Would you be one of them, Moneypenny?" He offered the woman his usual smile, and she returned it with her usual smile, as well - as though she were humoring a small child. 

"Not this time, I'm afraid," she said brusquely as she handed him a folder. "M will be contacting you via video, so you can turn around and head back to that lovely new car of yours. Have fun." 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

He flipped casually through the folder as he hurried back the way he had just come, finally sitting down in the car. 

He tapped a few bottons on the dash, and a small screen above the CD player lit up. An older woman was on it, and she herself was looking hurriedly through the folder, as though worried she might have missed something. At last, she looked up, and saw him. 

"About time, Double-oh-seven. Have you looked through the reports yet?" 

"I've only glanced at them. Saw a few names - Andrew Cruz, Ami Mizuno, and Haruka Tenoh." 

She grimaced. "I don't have time to do much more than brief you, you're going to have to read the report in its entirety on your flight to Tokyo." 

"Tokyo?" 

"Both Tenoh and Mizuno where from Tokyo, and a few of their friends have insisted on assisting you. They have some valuable information on both of them." 

"I work alone, M. You know that." 

"Yes, I do. But I think you'll find there's more to Tenoh and Mizuno, as well as their friends, than meets the eye. Sorry to make this little chat so short, but I have a few other matters to attend to." 

With that, M disappeared from the screen, and a very bemused James Bond started his car and headed for the airport. 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

Setsuna was very worried about Michiru. 

Very, very worried. 

When she had finally stopped crying, the woman had sat alone on the edge of a cliff outside of the mansion for hours, staring out at the ocean alone. Both Setsuna and Hotaru had had enough sense to leave her alone while she was acting like this. There was only one person who she would have let near her while she was in this mood, and that person was the entire reason she was doing this. 

So, Setsuna had finally decided that there was only one reasonable course of action. They were going to go back to Tokyo. 

She stayed up until six that morning, when Michiru had come back in, disheveled and melancholy. She had sent her upstairs, kind but firm, instructing her to pack whatever she needed to take back. This, of course, only included things like her henshin pen, the mirror, and, of course, her precious Stradivarius - the one she had come back with after the vacation to Italy she and Haruka took, and would never tell anyone how she got it. They could always come back for the rest. 

But she thought she caught a glimpse of one of her many dressed peeking out of Michiru's bag as they headed out to the car. At first she couldn't understand why - it was far from her best, and she had plenty more like it. Then it hit her. Haruka had bought it for her years ago. It was one of the first gifts Haruka had given her. 

While she was packing, Setsuna picked up her communicator and tried to contact Usagi. Instead, she found herself staring at Luna. 

"Is Usagi-chan there, Luna?" 

"No, she's out with Mamo-chan. As usual, they left both her communicator and me here. It was only a few minutes ago, so she should be back for the communicator..." 

At a racket nearby, Luna looked away, then smirked at the communicator. "Now." 

Sure enough, Setsuna heard Usagi's voice saying, "What are you doing with the communicator, Luna?" There was a moment of disorientation, which Setsuna figured was due to Usagi picking up the communicator while it was still on, and she was finally staring into Usagi's face. 

The young woman gasped. "Setsuna-san! Has someone told you about Ami-chan?" 

"Yes. I heard about it yesterday. Has anyone told you about-" 

"Hai, we heard about it on the radio this morning." Her voice grew hushed, and a worried expression came over her. "Is Michiru-san all right?" 

Setsuna sighed. "I think she's okay...relatively speaking. I think the best thing to do right now would be for all of us to keep together, so Michiru, Hotaru, and I are going to take the next flight back to Tokyo. Meanwhile, I want you to stay close to all of the Inners. Mamoru, as well." 

She blushed at the mention of the name of her husband of six months. "Don't worry, Setsuna-san. We were going out to meet them right now, anyway." 

"Good. I want you all to wait for us in our Tokyo place. There's a spare key to the front door under the rose bush nearest the door, and the combination to turn the burglar alarm off is 1785. We should be home in about eight or ten hours, I want you all to stay the night there. I don't care what concerts Minako is giving, I don't care what anyone has going on, you're not safe in public. There are plenty of guest rooms, and you're welcome to whatever is in the kitchen. Use whatever you want, just don't call anyone, email anyone, or talk to anyone besides each other." 

Usagi nodded gravely, and Setsuna heard Michiru and Hotaru approaching. "I've got to go. See you later." 

With that, she snapped the communicator closed as Michiru hurried towards the car with Hotaru. "We'll wait for you out in the car, Setsuna." 

Setsuna nodded. "I'll be right out. Let me just lock this place up." 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

Private Flight 3230 London to Tokyo One Hour Later 

Bond read once more through the reports. Ami Mizuno, a genius from Tokyo, had been kidnapped from her room at Harvard. Her roommate had just left to see a movie, and had called the police when she returned to find Ami gone. 

Haruka Tenoh had been kidnapped from London. An internationally renowned racecar driver and piano player, he had brought his wife, violinist Michiru Kaioh to one of his championship races, as well as a close friend named Setsuna Meioh and their adopted daughter Hotaru Tomoe. He had been kidnapped while in the locker room. It seemed Tenoh was also known for his talents as an athlete, and had recently declined an offer from the American Olympics committee to try out for the track team. 

As opposed to the quiet, shy Mizuno, Haruka and Kaioh were a rather favorite couple of the press. What very few people knew was that Haruka Tenoh was not quite what 'he' seemed. Lo and behold, Haruka was a woman who immensely enjoyed the joke that she was playing on the world. 

The suspect in both cases was a man named Andrew Cruz, a somewhat reclusive American billionaire. Very little was known about him, and very few people knew that he dabbled in genetics and studied cloning avidly. 

The pieces were beginning to fall into place. Cruz wanted to create some kind of superbeing, it seemed, and had kidnapped a genius and a famous athlete. After he had created this creature, he probably planned to clone it, thereby creating a virtual army of undefeatable drones. 

There were a few interesting notes at the end of the report. It seemed that Ami Mizuno and Haruka Tenoh, as well as Michiru Kaioh, Setsuna Meioh, Hotaru Tomoe, were old friends from Tokyo. 

He frowned and closed the folder at the sound of a pair of voices. This was supposed to be a private flight. On his look of irritation, a stewardess hurried over to him. 

"I thought this was going to be a private flight," he said. 

"It is, sir. But they were able to pay the necessary fees, and we were unable to turn them away." 

He sighed, and finally glanced toward the front of the plane. 

And nearly fell out of his chair in shock. 

Michiru Kaioh, Setsuna Meioh, and Hotaru Tomoe had just gotten on the plane. 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 

Setsuna frowned, irritated. This was supposed to be their private plane, so what was this man doing on it? 

Michiru noticed her annoyance, and said to her, "Haruka said that they were welcome to sell tickets to anyone who needed a flight to Tokyo, but that the plane had to be ready at any time. I guess this fellow just got lucky." 

Setsuna sighed. "Well, I wish you two had discussed it with me." 

"I'm sorry, Setsuna. I meant to mention it to you, but I just...I got distracted." She gave Setsuna a sad smile, and a shrug. 

Setsuna shook her head. "It's no big deal to me, if you don't mind. I just thought that you might like the trip to be private." 

"I'm fine, Setsuna. I'll be fine." Michiru hurried to a seat next to one of the windows. Setsuna sat across the aisle from her, and Hotaru sat nest to Michiru. Michiru stroked her daughter's hair idly as she settled in for the flight. 

Now that they were all aboard, the pilot wasted no more time, and they were soon in the air. Setsuna kept a suspicious eye on the man the entire time, even as she pretended to be engaged in a novel. She noticed that he was doing the same, and had probably noticed her. She made no attempt to hide her wariness of him. 

After about three hours, he approached her. "Excuse me, Miss," he said cautiously, "but is that really Michiru Kaioh in that seat?" 

At this, she was nearly ready to henshin right then and there, but held her instincts in check. There was a very good chance that he was merely a fan or had heard about her and Haruka somewhere. "Yes, it is." 

"Would she mind if I-" 

"No," Setsuna said abruptly. "No, she's not going to shake your hand, she's not going to sign any autographs, she's not going to play anything, and she's not going to let you take a picture or two. Go back to your seat." 

He shook his head at her. "I wasn't going to ask about that." 

"Then what did you want?" 

He sighed. "I'm an agent of Her Majesty's Secret Service. Because of the circumstances around the kidnappings of Ami Mizuno and Haruka Tenoh, I've been assigned to find them. I was being sent to Japan for the express purpose of finding you, Miss Kaioh, and some of your friends." 

That got Setsuna's attention. Still wary, however, she let her skepticism show plainly. "Really." 

He nodded, and pulled out an identification badge. She studied the badge for a few moments. It looked pretty authentic. 

She bit her lip, and cast a glance at Michiru. Finally, she knew what she should do. 

"I need to talk to Michiru about this. Excuse me for a moment." 

He nodded, and Setsuna got up and hurried over to Michiru. She placed a quiet hand on the other woman's shoulder, and, without making a lot of noise, softly explained to her that she needed Michiru to use the Aqua Mirror for something. 

Michiru looked up at her. "Setsuna, I don't -" 

"Please. This could be important." 

Michiru seemed to hear the importance of her compliance in Setsuna's voice, because she reached into the bag next to her feet, and pulled out the mirror. 

"What is it you need to know?" she asked dully. 

"Is that man," she cast a short glance backwards, "really who he says he is?" 

Michiru glanced curiously back at the person in question, and frowned. Nonetheless, she turned back to the mirror, and her face took on that curious look she got when she was scrying in it. 

It looked to Setsuna like Michiru was simply staring at her own reflection, but she knew that the woman was actually seeing much more than that, that she was in a sort of trance. 

Finally, she looked back at Setsuna. "Yes, he is. Mind telling me what that was about?" 

Setsuna nodded, and though her outward appearance did not change, she was going through a wide range of emotions inside. Could he really help them find Haruka and Ami? 

Only one way to find out. 

|-----|---|-|---|-----| 


End file.
